In Search of Mr. Darcy
Summary: Beth, an ASE student, spots Colin Firth and embarks on a quest to find him. She has encounters with many people along the way (including ASE staff) and her relationship with Will builds. There’s also the storyline with Chuck and Janie getting together, Will inadvertently thwarting them, etc.
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It is a truth universally acknowledged that celebrity sightings are not uncommon in Bath. Ok, maybe it’s just locally acknowledged.
One morning, two American students in the Advanced Studies in England program were walking along Milsom Street when one of the girls, Beth, exclaimed, “Upon my word! I think I just saw Colin Firth!” (in a British accent)
She had glimpsed a distinctively curly head of black hair, unmistakably belonging to the Pride & Prejudice heartthrob.
“Um, why are you talking like that?” said her roommate, a gentle, pretty girl named Janie.
“Oh, sorry I’ve been reading so much Jane Austen I guess I just picked up the language. Come on! We have to follow him!”
The girls wove through the crowd, Beth desperately tracking the head of black hair. Mr. Firth disappeared around the corner, though, and just then one of the hordes of camera-wielding tourists placed themselves right in front of them. By the time they made it past, not without difficulty, Mr. Firth was gone.
“Oh my God! I can’t believe we just missed him! Stupid tourists.”
They headed back to Nelson House for their Jane Austen class.
As they descended the hill, they ran into two other ASE students, Will and Chuck. Will, a senior, was always serious and carried an air of superiority. Chuck, who had been acquainted with Will before the program, was a junior, and he was much friendlier than Will.
“Hey what’s up?” said Chuck smiling. He had that I’m-a-rich-boy-but-I’m-nice look about him. “How’s the weather treating you, Janie? I noticed you were a little cold the other day.”
“Oh, I’m fine,” said Janie, shyly. “Thanks, though.”
“So, I see no shopping bags. What else could you possibly be doing up so early?” asked Will.
“For your information,” Beth replied, “we planned to get some work done before class and happened upon a very interesting sighting. And shopping is not the only reason to leave for class early. That’s more than I can say for you, though. If I recall correctly, you were late for class last week.”
Will conveniently ignored the truth of the accusation. He had been up late the night before looking up Real Estate around the area. He had a peculiar penchant for old property and dreamed of one day owning some grand Regency estate.
“Come on, Chuck, let’s go,” said Will, coolly, though inside he was taken aback by Beth’s boldness.
“God, what a snob,” said Beth after they left.
“Yeah, but his friend is nice,” Janie sighed.
Beth looked over at her friend and smiled. “Oh, he likes you.”
“You think so?”
As they headed toward Nelson House, they ran into another ASE student named George. George was an Adonis – tall, dark, and muscular. Unfortunately what he had in the appearances department he lacked in the cognitive department.
“Hey there Beth. Lookin’ good.”
“Um, hey George. Ready for class?”
“Yeah. I mean don’t I look it? My hair’s not messed up, is it?” he said, looking at his reflection in the window.
“No you’re fine.”
“Thanks. I get that a lot.”
Beth gave him a smirk but couldn’t help feeling pleased by his attentions. She and Janie usually hung out with him and his friends outside of class.
Just then, Dr. Fallon arrived to take them over to Linley House for class.
Today’s class discussion was on Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice. Dr. Fallon, an Austen scholar and Oxford University professor, asked, “What do you believe Jane Austen’s message was, based on your analysis of the text?”
Will spoke up first. “Well, though the book is called Pride & Prejudice, I think the fault of prejudice is much more severe than the fault of pride. In the book, Elizabeth jumps to conclusions based on nothing more than her own injured pride and Mr. Wickham’s testimonies. You can’t blame Mr. Darcy for not wanting to associate with people like the Bennets. So I think Jane Austen’s message is that one should be aware of one’s station in life and form one’s judgments based on how a reasonable person of high rank would naturally react to someone of lower rank.”
Beth had never heard of anything so off the mark and ridiculous. She replied indignantly, “I think, based on the text, that Jane Austen’s message was different. Far from advocating more attention and deference to rank, I believe Austen meant to show how prideful regard for rank and one’s own self-perception, errors committed by both Darcy and Elizabeth, could result in painful misunderstandings. Only when pride and prejudice on each side were recognized and remedied could Darcy and Elizabeth come to understand themselves and each other.”
Will was silent. He was once again surprised and intrigued by Beth’s intelligence and conviction.
“I agree with what she said,” piped in George.
Dr. Fallon just stared at George. It was days like this that he especially wished he could be at the Jane Austen Fashion museum, with that safe snuggly corset on, sitting in the assembling rooms, imagining himself back in the 18th century, where nobody said idiotic things like “I agree with what she said” when asked to perform a literary analysis.
The discussion continued, though much less heated than it had begun.
After class, Will approached Beth and asked her if she would like to get lunch with him. He offered to buy her a cup of coffee, sure that she could not refuse. “I think you’re one of the smartest girls here. I’d like to continue discussing Pride & Prejudice with you.”
Beth, after recovering from the shock of such a request, snapped, “I actually have something to do during lunch today, besides indulge conceited sexists like you.” She turned around and walked away, leaving Will mortified.
She had not lied about having something to do. She hadn’t forgotten the near-encounter with Colin Firth this morning, and was determined to track him down. She planned to ask the ASE staff members for help. First, she went to Jonathan’s office.
She explained to him how she had seen Colin Firth on Milsom Street this morning and asked him if he could help her find him. “I know this isn’t about academics but you said we could talk to you about anything, didn’t you?”
“Well not everything. I mean, what you’re proposing is preposterous and silly. Colin Firth is most definitely not in Bath.”
He got up and opened the door, ushering her out. He moved with the agility of a man who could hold the downward dog position for a long time.
As Lindsay’s office was just across from Jonathan’s, so close that he could see her from his desk if he wanted to, Beth thought she might have more luck asking Lindsay about Mr. Firth.
“Oh, don’t look at me. I just arrange the social outings for you guys” said Lindsay, turning over a picture frame of her with red face paint holding a beer standing on a table in a pub.
Beth sighed, and tried asking the women in the office downstairs.
When Su heard Beth’s dilemma, she said, “I can’t believe you think we would help you with such a thing like that! I mean just because we take you on day trips and give you food and transportation, send people to clean your houses, and in general are there for whatever you need whenever you need it, you have no reason to expect us to help you go around chasing movie stars!”
Barbara was also there, and she exclaimed, “Silly girl! What a disgrace!”
Normally, Beth would be more annoyed at Barbara. But for a woman who had to climb 5 stories to her office everyday, where very few people ever came to visit her, and who had to climb steep hills to get home, Barbara was surprisingly pleasant.
Claire turned around in her chair and nodded in agreement.
Beth left the office in disappointment. On the way out, she spotted Janie.
“No luck. They won’t help me at all,” sighed Beth.
Janie tried to console her friend and appear sympathetic but she just couldn’t hide her excitement. “Chuck just asked me out for dinner tonight. We’re going to The Eastern Eye.”
“Oh my God! I’m so happy for you!” Beth exclaimed. She couldn’t think of two people better suited for each other, and was glad that Chuck had taken the initiative to ask Janie out.
“Pssst!” a sound from behind her.
She turned around. It was Claire.
She walked over, surprised.
“Don’t tell anybody, but I can help you find Colin.”
“Really? How?”
She looked around furtively. “Okay well I’ve been tracking the latest sightings of him.”
“Wow! I can’t believe it!”
“What else do you think I’m doing in the office all day? You think that map on my wall is just to help students find places? And that Xerox machine – very useful for copying pamphlets for weekly Firth Fanclub meetings. Anyways, he was last spotted at the Halycon Hotel.”
“Thanks so much Claire!” said Beth excitedly.
She rushed out the door and headed toward the Halycon.
On the way there, she bumped into Andrew Butterworth.
“Oh hello! Where are you off to in such a hurry?”
“Oh hi Mr. Butterworth. I’m going to the Halycon… to look for someone there.”
“Well, I don’t know anything about that, but DID YOU KNOW that the rooms of the Halycon used to be a sewer system for the TOILETS in Bath? It was built in the 18th century and was removed and renovated 50 years later into a hotel. But can you imagine a place like the Halycon used to have crap in its basement?“
Beth could not say that she had ever imagined such a thing. She smiled politely and excused herself.
Finally, she arrived at the destination only to find a security guard blocking the entrance to the lobby.
“Excuse me, may I come in? I’m a student at ASE and I’m studying, um, Bath architecture.”
The guard sneered, “Who do you think I am? Robert Green? I don’t just let anything in.”
He would not budge, and she was forced to give up the lead and go back to Nelson House.
She trudged back home, miserable. What had begun an exciting day had quickly taken a turn for the worse. She had just missed a dreamy movie star, was asked out by a presumptuous and arrogant boy, ridiculed by the ASE staff, and had reached a dead end in her search for said movie star.
That night, as she was ruminating on her bad luck, Janie, back from her date, entered the room in tears.
“He stood me up. I waited for hours, and he didn’t show up.”
Beth immediately got up to hug and console her friend. “Men. They can’t all be as charming as Colin. No wonder he’s so hard to find.”
The next morning, Beth overheard Chuck talking to George in the hallway.
“Yeah, I was going to go out with Janie last night, but then Will told me she didn’t really like me.”
“Oh man, bummer. I mean, I can’t really relate because no girl I’ve liked has not liked me back. Speaking of girls I like…” George said, spotting Janie.
“Hey Beth, want to get some ice cream after class?”
“Oh yeah, sure,” she said, too stunned by what she had overheard to really know what she was agreeing to.
“Sweet! Get it? Sweet? Cause we were talking about ice cream?”
“Ha ha, ok I gotta go,” said Janie.
She saw Will come in.
“How dare you?” she said, glaring at him.
“What do you mean?” he said, confused.
“Telling Chuck Janie didn’t like him! She was crushed when he didn’t show up! God, you’re such a jerk. You don’t care about anyone but yourself and just can’t stand to see other people happy, even your friends.”
“That’s not true – “
But Beth was too angry to listen anymore and she stomped away.
She was still fuming over Will’s meddling as she walked home after class. She tried doing the reading for that night, but couldn’t concentrate so she decided to write an email home.
A message in her inbox caught her eye. It was titled “ASE Slut”
Bewildered, she opened the email and saw her name. It read:
Beth Benedict is a snob of a slut, who makes dates with guys only to not show. LET THIS BE A WARNING TO ALL GUYS. Stay clear of Beth Benedict. She’s not worth it.
The email was anonymous but she knew it was sent from the ASE server. It had to be one of the students here, and based on the fact that “snob,” “slut” and “it” were misspelled and her sudden recollection of being asked by George for ice cream after class and it completely slipping her mind, made the color rise to her cheeks. She slammed her computer shut, agitated and humiliated.
The next day at school, everyone was talking about the email. The girls were whispering and pointing. The guys were giving her looks and snickering. She walked with her head down. Only Janie stood by her side. Misery loves company.
During Jane Austen class, Beth did not speak at all. To make matters worse, George’s comments in discussion were maddeningly profound.
After the lunch break, something happened. People were suddenly talking to her again and guys were looking at her apologetically.
“What’s going on?” asked Beth.
“A reply-email to the ASE Slut one was sent out.”
Beth rushed to the computers and saw another email sent from the ASE servers titled, “Original Thoughts”
She saw the words: Sound familiar?
Below were screenshots from Sparknotes.com with text highlighted. These sentences happened to be George’s deep insights from today’s class, word for word.
There was another photo of George copying these sentences and pasting them into a word document.
At the end was: “Can you blame Beth Benedict?”
Within hours of the email having been sent, the tide had turned against George. He was now ridiculed and avoided, Beth’s reputation restored.
Beth was in a turbelence of emotion. In the course of a day she had gone from being ostracized to redeemed. Who did she have to thank for it?
After a bit of sleuthing, she discovered that the photos in the "Original Thoughts" email had been uploaded to Facebook. She was able to trace the photos back to... Will's account! The link led straight to his photo album, and a photo of Will - smiling, looking really cute, with his arms protectively around a little girl - caught her eye. She browsed through his photos, all showing him not cold or pompous as she had made him out to be, but loving and loved.
When she got to his profile page, she couldn't resist looking at his interests and hobbies. All of them matched hers! He even had the same quote from Shakespeare.
How wrong she had been about Will! How blind! How ungrateful was her behavior toward him! How horribly ---------"
After class, Will caught up to Beth.
“Listen I’m sorry about Chuck and Janie. I never would have interfered if I thought she liked him. I just wanted to protect him.”
“It’s ok, I should be the one apologizing and thanking you for what you did. I said some awful things to you that you didn’t deserve. I… misjudged you,” she said, smiling a little.
Suddenly she spotted that unmistakable head of hair and cute dimpled smile! “Colin! Colin!” she ran after him, determined not to let him get away this time.
“Where are you going?” said Will, running after her.
They chased Mr. Firth through the streets of Bath, all the way to ----- [the name of this place has been omitted], right in front of Sydney Gardens.
But he had stepped onto a bus and gotten away. Again.
Janie sat down on a bench in frustration. “God! Lost him again!”
“Why are you so bent on finding Colin Firth?”
“Because, he represents all that I’d ever want in a man. He’s noble, generous, and handsome. I just have to meet him!”
“Well, maybe your Mr. Darcy is right in front of you.”
“Where?” Beth said frantically looking around
“I mean me. Beth, you’ve captured me, body, mind, and soul.”
“Really?”
“Well, no. I mean, I’ve only known you for two weeks” he shrugged. “but I’d like to take you out sometime.” “Ice cream maybe. I hear they lost some business recently” he joked.
“Yeah, too soon.”
“I thought so.”
“Wait, so what changed your mind about me?”
“Well, I’m not going to lie. At first, I thought you were a superficial airhead. But that day in class when we were discussing Pride & Prejudice I began to see that I was wrong. Then George humiliated you with that email. I knew it was him because “it” was misspelled. The anger I felt even though I wasn’t drunk or grumpy from staying up all night doing the loads of work for our classes (ahem) when I saw the email made me realize how smart and totally hot you are. [edit: that I had feelings for you]”
Filled with all the pleasures such a confession would bestow, Beth and Will walked out of Sydney Gardens arm in arm, passing by a woman sitting on a bench. She was decked in 18th century dress and bonnet, writing on what looked like really old parchment paper. As they passed she looked up from her manuscript and smiled.
What became of our young lovers? Well, sadly, Beth and Will’s relationship could not stand the test of long distance. But while it lasted, both were extremely satisfied and happy. Beth even finally got to meet Colin Firth. Well, sort of. She and Will were at a café’ on one of their dates when a mob of people gathered around the entrance, flashes of cameras, and shouts of “Colin, liberal literary adaptations are sexy!“ and “You can interpret my text loosely any day” alerted them to the fact that they were indeed within feet of Colin Firth. Though Beth never actually saw him, it was all Will could do to keep her from screaming and plunging into the mob.
Will eventually went on to fulfill his dream of owning a vast, Regency estate, which he named Pimpberley.
The listener may be satisfied to know that Janie and Chuck stayed together long after the program ended, and eventually went on to get engaged after graduating college.
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I was thinking if the whole house wants to participate, we can have each person be a character, with two people being the staff members and the security guard.
Also, any suggestions for a better ending??
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