Week Four... Um it's Wednesday.

Jealousy of others, feeling of competition - but I should be glad that there are so many capable people in this world...

The Leeds Animation Workshop sounds awesome. It is discussed in Chapter 10 of Fires were Started. I want to see some of the films, like Hairdresser? I Mean Astrosphicist, Alice in Wasteland, Who Needs Nurseries? We Do!

Today in Jane Austen we talked about Persuasion, how it is more elegiac, dark, and unforgiving than Jane Austen's other novels. The heroine is now past her bloom, mature; her love interest doesn't show his feelings and is in a precarious economic situation when he proposes to her, thus forcing her to reject him. The book focuses on the past a lot, and her regret and longing for her lost love. The ending also talks about keeping faith and being loyal even when love is lost.

England Week 4!!

I went to St. Mary's Church, which was very close to our house, at 10:30 am. The mass was very pleasant. The priest was Italian and his homily was a bit rambling, but charming in that Italian way. He was especially good with the group of children who came out after the homily from their separate activity. They had made a poster of a group of people walking on a path "Following Jesus" with signs that point to Christian duties like "Holy Communion" and "Reconciliation."

Anyways, the priest asks the very bright, eager, and articulate group of kids what they like about being followers of Jesus. One little boy says, "We get presents at Christmas" another says "I like eating the bread at Holy Communion." Kids. They say the darndest things.

Right after church, I went to the Co-op convenience store and bought a bag of flour. I was going to make cookies but later found out there wasn't enough butter. Will have to go buy some tomorrow, along with spinach, tomatoes, spaghetti sauce, and meatballs.

Then I went to watch the England vs. Ghana game at a pub, the Pig & Fiddle. It was exciting when England scored two successive goals after Germany scored twice, although one of England's goals didn't count. From there, it went downhill and England lost 1-4 to Germany. We left in disappointment and too early to see the only group of Germans in the pub probably get beat up by all the Brits there.

Afterwards, I read Persuasion outside in the garden, where it was nice and cool. This novel is different from Austen's other novels. It feels like a sequel, in that we see what life after the "happily ever after" (in this case, the would-be happily ever after if the heroine wasn't just so darn persuadable) is like. We see Captain Wentworth's sweetness and his nice friends, that Anne can't have because she rejected him... The storyline also seems different, more dramatic and closer to modern stories (like when Louisa has a freak accident). But I like the book. Just finished Volume 1.

After that, I chatted with my housemates, in the little hallway outside the bathroom, much to the amusement of everyone who passed through. I promised them pancakes tomorrow, and I can't back out now.

I started working on my Write Night piece, getting really into the story, and neglecting all my wonderful plans to finish film reading and make some more headway with my Jane Austen paper on Cluelessness. Oh well, priorities. It's not choosing between right and wrong, it's choosing between two appealing things. Not my words. The Italian priest's.

London Class Trip

Day 1

The bus broke down so instead of leaving at 8:15 we left at 9:15. I read Emma while waiting. When we got to London, we basically took a stroll around South Bank, which has the London Eye, Millenium Bridge, National Theatre, and National Film Institute.

The hostel was not as nice as the one in St. Ives. All 12 girls were in one room, which had 4 triple bunk beds, stacked Jimanji-style. I actually kind of liked the rooms. The bathrooms were clean and there was a lot of room to store stuff. For dinner, I finally got to eat fish and chips. It was delicious.

Next was the "highlight" of the day, watching England Expects at the BFI. The film is about a divorced security guard who starts off kind of racist but it seems pretty moderate. He also cares a lot about his daughter and frequently criticizes her deadbeat mother for corrupting and neglecting her. Then we start seeing the cracks (no pun intended. The daughter smokes (?) crack and when the father discovers this, he reaches the breaking point) in his sanity - he stalks a woman at work, spying on her with the security cameras; he becomes more and more racist toward blacks and the Muslim community when his ex-wife and daughter are denied housing. He gets crazier still after discovering his daughter's drug abuse and friendship with a Muslim boy. He returns to a bar where he presumably used to partake in some sort of violence, and joins a Conservative Right-Wing (read: extremist) political party. He seeks revenge after he is fired for sexual abuse - first by beating up the woman's boyfriend, then shooting a crossbow (yes, that's right) at a Muslim woman, the sister of his daughter's friend. This incites a race riot that ends in a white boy accidentally stabbing him and the Muslim boy getting blamed and arrested for it. Phew, as you can tell, the movie was intense.

But even though the storyline, plot, and drama were over-the-top and not that spectacular, the movie definitely impacted me. As the only Asian in the group, I felt uncomfortable hearing the racist slurs and anger directed toward "Asians coming into [white people's] country." Even though I couldn't control my immigrating here, I felt like I was part of a group that had invaded another country and displaced whites. What's strange was that the movie made me feel that the protagonist, Ray, may have been justified in his racist anger, in the sense that Asian immigrants were displacing whites in jobs and housing; we were changing the identity of their nation. Not without reason, because we are escaping our oppressive countries. Or, in the movie, the Indians were just coming to the nation that imperialized theirs.

What the movie shows is that their is no fair answer to the problem. Both sides are right. Resentment ought to be expected from whites who are being displaced by people of another ethnicity. That Ray also attacks his co-worker's boyfriend, who is white, means that his anger comes from the fact that other people are taking what he believes is entitled to him. It is a

I guess the only solution is what Ray vehemently and crassly denies: "The races should not mix. It makes them impure." The races should mix. If immigration seems unfair (a whole exodus of people from another country coming in and crowding out the natives of another country, while the emigrant country receives no flood of immigrants) then the effect of it – the informing, fusion, of culture – justifies and explains its existence.

After that Amelia, Christina, Patricia, and I wandered around South Bank, getting photos of Parliament and Big Ben lit up at night. We were the only ones in our class to stay behind and find our own way back to the hostel. The rest of them played Kings, a surprisingly complex game for an activity that involves getting drunk.

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My progress: I am learning to sit and just talk; to have leisure every day, to engage in lighthearted and unnecessary conversation. I must now work on remembering more details and speaking more articulately

Day 2

We started off with a tour of Holland Park, Notting Hill, and Portobello Market. I tried my best to pay more attention than I usually do, and found myself enjoying all the little stories the tour guide told. Some of the factoids in the tour were useful (London is split into a business district and Westminster; there are three economic levels of neighborhoods all near each other) but most were not (Squirrels at Holland Park had become used to visitors feeding them so no longer hibernated). Yet remembering and saying these seemingly unimportant facts can enhance my intellect and broaden my world views.

June 24: Better late than never... Slowing the Flow of my time in England

I have just read one of the ASE students' blogs and her diligent detailing of all our trips as well as ordinary class days has made me realize that I must sit down and reflect on my days here as well. She just wrote exactly what happened, even the small things, and her thoughts about them as they happened. It seems like it is not worth documenting, but I know that I'll enjoy reading about it, reliving my first study abroad trip, later on. Plus, by actively detailing my day, I'll get practice with writing, which will surely benefit me.

I don't know what tone to write it in, I'm aware that I'm being strangely formal right now, but something about blogging makes you want to write that way.

Ok, here goes.

Today our Jane Austen class took the train from Bath Spa to Bristol Meads, where Dr. Fallon led a tour around the industrial city of Bristol. The theme of the talk was slavery and how it characterized the town and powered it economically. We looked at Queen's Square, where merchants and slaveowners used to live. We went to this beautiful, breathtaking dockland area, which apparently did not used to be that peaceful but was filled with the bustle and dirt of slave-transporting ships. We passed a cave that is now just full of litter. It is located next to a graffitied wall. I was commenting to Chelsea that Bristol seems to be somewhere between Bath and London because it has the Bath-like architecture but the London grime and bustle.

Let's see, before I consult the handout of Dr. Fallon's tour, what else I can remember. Oh yes, we went to a Cathedral (one of many, MANY churches/cathedrals we have visited in England) called St. Mary Redcliffe. It was massive and had the characteristic detailed stone etchings in them. The stone made it nice and cool to walk into after our long stroll in the hot weather.

Today in my British Cinema class we will watch A Room with a View. It apparently is very popular in our class and features Helena Bonham Carter and Daniel Day-Lewis (sigh). He was also in My Beautiful Laundrette, the movie I wrote my first mise-en-scene paper on.

After watching the movie, I realized how much more I enjoyed it because I could analyze it knowing what that it was a heritage film. From that, the director's purpose was clear and I could identify all the things that made it a heritage film, and specifically what made it a high-quality film. The scene I enjoyed most was when Daniel's character Cecil asks to kiss Helena's character Lucy. The kiss is so awkward, so literal: they press their faces together. then part. passionless and/or novice-ish. Reminds me of a similar experience... Contrast with Lucy and George's kiss(es) of true love.

Also, I have never liked Helena Bonham Carter because she is not conventionally pretty enough for the roles she plays. She also sort of waddle-scurries, IN EVERY MOVIE and speaks snappily. But... I have to admit she was damn good in this film, though she should stick with Tim Burton.

Now for my usual philosophical musings:
As I walked with my class, I couldn't help looking at the people around me, particularly their legs and arms. Before I go further, I want to say that I am not a creep. But the bodies of my classmates led me to a contrast between Americans and Brits: most people's bodies were imperfect, out of shape, you might say. But really the extra flab on our thighs and arms and waists, the not quite sculpted calves - all indicate how free we are. As Americans, we embrace imperfections, accept less-than-ideal bodies and eat what we like. We are happier for it, I think and there is something very beautiful about people our age, not to sound self-centered or anything.

People's bodies and physical appearances say a lot about them. And everyone is attractive in their own way, I find.

Another thing I noticed was that the older students have a neater, more defined sense of style. One guy was the typical punk rocker guy, with a rock star pin-covered light brown messenger bag and scrawny figure and headphones around his neck - yet, it seemed like his style was his own, because he consistently looked that way.

At the risk of sounding like an old lady, I like being around young people, especially such interesting intelligent ones, which I find England majors usually are. I came into this program wondering how I would mesh with the people around me, and found the same relationship I have with most groups I've been a part of - not quite belonging, finding myself alone and sometimes isolated. But I had a feeling that people who liked English as much as I did would have more in common with me and I would be able to connect with them more. And I was right. They are very adept with and appreciative of language, and deep, and most of them are bad at math.

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My personal progress: I'm changing. I am becoming bolder. I ask questions I would normally be hesitant to ask, like when I asked someone to repeat a scene I missed in a movie though it was somewhat disruptive. I've also learned to speak unnecessarily, to say things that I used to think were frivolous and as yet, are still unnatural for me to say (i.e., "How are you? How is your experience with the program?" and "I like when..." and cracking jokes, rather than just "Do you know when class ends?"). Now what I still need to work on is that well, almost jealous feeling I get when I see other people seem to understand what I presumed only I understood, or when their understanding enlightens and eclipses mine.

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PHOTOS!! Don't trust/can't figure out Facebook.

Big Ben and Me

Lion statue (one of many) in Bath near the Bath Abbey

Mural of a husband and wife's lover in Bristol

Beautiful Bristol docks

Bundle of Insights

The Richness of Detail

Live life with care and attention to detail

Knowledge is infinitely more valuable than the momentary pleasures afforded by procrastination.

What people highlight in readings give insight into their minds.

We always wish fast-paced classes would slow down but really if they were to be slowed we would miss out on learning as much as we can. Using time fully, if at times hectically, ensures the richest education.

Show then tell. Give people all the details first and then allow them (and guide them) to the conclusions, like Dr. Fallon does and Mike.
Ask them to look for things then guide them to the conclusion.
Once you have the detail you can come to the big picture, but it's impossible to do it the other way around.

Sad revelation: I've rushed through life and I've hardly enjoyed it.
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My film class presentation was a lot like every other presentation I've given. Carefully planned out, with attention to key words and analysis. But there was no passion. I didn't really enjoy the movies I talked about, didn't relish in the details, so my analysis came of dry, boring, and too fast. I talked from notes, not from my heart. And that's always worked for me. Until now.

The best feeling I ever got after a presentation was the Creating for a Cause fictional charity project. I thought up the charity. Making keychains to raise money for daycare centers. I talked about having centers to make the keychains, selling them, distributing them, how to make them.

It reflects the way I think and talk, as well. I'm always in a hurry to bypass the details and little pleasures and get to the big picture, the correct words, the bare minimum. Then I get nervous and everything seems to be a jumble, or so contrived, pre-thought.

Updates on England. Part of Resolution to Preserve Moments

Sunday:

Went to mass at St. Patrick's church. Surprisingly similar to home although churchgoers' singing is definitely more robust. The sermon emphasized thinking about others, their happiness, first. I can easily see how that can be too extreme (mom comes to mind). A consideration for others but acting in ways that please you (example, writing a piece that you enjoy) instead of worrying how others will react might be the happy medium.

I spent a good chunk of the day, after going shopping, making chicken soup for the first time.

It was a learning experience for sure. Surprisingly the soup turned out fine, considering all the juice that probably evaporated when I left the stove on too high and putting too much noodles in...

Monday:

Lots of working, hyper-productivity, probably the result of under-productivity of past few days. Have a slight headache.

Jane Austen discussion on money & rank was interesting. I especially liked examining rank in forming relationships. Mr. & Mrs. Bennet marrying for love was hard to get my head around. The famous first line about the truth that is universally acknowledged - now I see it is a but an ironic representation of one narrow portion of the population - the silly, contriving mothers who wish that a single man in possession of a large fortune should be in want of a wife - their daughter. Also learned that French-sounding last names in England = aristocratic blood.

Learned today about time management. Work, work, work. Seize the day. Immerse fully in what you are doing. Also, don't procrastinate. Can I just say - EASIER SAID THAN DONE. But will try. Also, I am determined to begin a parody of Pride & Prejudice featuring some ASE staff members.

Trip to London - June 20, 2010

Alright this post will resemble more of the usual blog-type posts because a.) it's 2 am and they involve a lot less brainpower and b.) I was reminded today how important it is to just get the events of your day down and update diaries like blogs more often! So, without further ado, my first trip to London with 7 ASE Summer School students:

Our trip to London was jam-packed, crazy, chilling, and... just great. I enjoyed it immensely.

First we went to Abbey Road, the site of the famous Beatles album cover, and "replicated" the Beatles' poses. I was John Lennon because I was wearing white. Pictures on facebook. Nuff said.

Then we went to Platform 9 and 3/4 at King's Cross station, which was really located near Platform 8... Lots of fun. Pics are also available.

Next was the British Library, which houses really old manuscripts by famous writers/artists like Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Handel, Beethoven as well as other cool collections like Beatles lyrics on napkins and stamps (called the Philatelic Exhibition). My favorite part was looking at Jane Austen's parody of English history textbooks called The History of England.* That woman had a modern sense of humor, for sure. I used to get bored of looking at old artifacts (continuing a theme from yesterday) but now I'm... well, a little less bored. I at least read the descriptors and gaze in reverence for a few seconds before moving on with my life. That's progress.

Well, that's not even half the day.

Next we hit the Sherlock Holmes museum on Baker Street. Being very unfamiliar with Sherlock Holmes, I sat down to read some of the Holmes books in the museum's bookstore. I discovered that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote 56 Short Stories and 4 novels in the Sherlock Holmes series. At one point, he killed off Holmes so he wouldn't have to write anymore stories but the monetary incentive was too great so he brought him back from the dead in a book called Sherlock Holmes Returns or something like that. I read a few pages of The Hound of the Baskervilles and I think I got the basic gist of the books - Watson's an analytical type of guy whose contributions to solving cases is doing the dirty work so that Holmes can totally one-up him and make great leaps of deduction. Again 2am will probably edit the grammar of that sentence later.

I also hit the Beatles gift shop.

Next was... the British museum. Zoomed through that, but saw some mummies, Chinese ceramics, a textile made of medication pills, ancient coins from across the world.

The Tower of London. Didn't actually go in, but got beautiful pictures of the London Bridge (that's the one on the Thames that apparently looks like the Walt Disney castle, right?)

Last are the major tourist spots: Trafalgar Square, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey. Needless to say, we were EXHAUSTED. On top of that, most of us dressed for 60-70 degree weather that turned out to be stormy, rainy, and windy. Never have I been more happy to be in a warm, heated train station in my entire life.

The train ride home... good conversations. I really like my ASE friends and everything I'm learning from them. Overall, great experience. Ok done! That was my crazy day.

*Need to check the accuracy of that

Trials and Travels

Today I learned the true meaning of the word "necessary." Looking back, I realize that I am always preoccupied with spending my time in the most efficient and mechanically productive ways - no unnecessary waiting, dawdling, standing, and even speaking. But lots of valuable things can be described as unnecessary. People tell stories about old architecture, statues, and figures. We pay money to listen to them - hours can be devoted to listening to a tour guide talk while looking at artifacts and buildings that are often striking and beautiful but don't really do anything for us - we still have our schoolwork, our jobs, our obligations to go back to. People write down their feelings. In blogs for example. None of this is necessary. But really, is necessary all that related to visible outcomes? Shouldn't necessary mean doing things that further happiness, which sometimes means letting yourself stand and gaze at awesome artifacts without worrying about time or taking a picture of it to show your family...

On this trip I've also learned the value of a photograph. My camera's battery was dying during our visit to the Salisbury Cathedral, and I was forced to pick and choose which photos to take, and how many. I had to think about which sights I did not want to forget, which sights could be forgone or reproduced with the same relative visual enjoyment. If I was limited to a few photos, I had to make all of them count. I had to take each one at the angle and zoom and lighting that would make the picture beautiful and memorable, because it had to deserve to be taken.